On the side: The one thing to claim as your own

 Back in the day there was a woman who handled circulation matters at a newspaper where I worked. Let’s call her Helen, to protect the guilty.

Circulation departments are difficult places to work. The primary calls are from a) people who plan to spend money with you and always think you charge too much, and b) people who are upset they didn’t get their paper. Also, they are on the front line when it comes to people complaining about their newspaper – from wondering why “that guy” is in the paper again to hating on a columnist.

Those who work in circulation departments at larger papers or groups learn to cope with these situations, or they take jobs as dog walkers or cat sitters to regain their sanity. Helen developed satirical coping skills. She empathized with the callers with aplomb – they didn’t realize she was playing them. 

“Oh, yes, I know the paper is expensive. That’s why after I read mine I use it for toilet paper,” I heard her say.

“Oh my goodness, yes, everything is going up. I had this fellow call the other day and he said he had to give up a cup of coffee a week to pay for his subscription. Can you imagine?” was another response.

She was adept at handling comments about errors, too, employing a unique strategy to deal with those remarks. 

Caller: That was a terrible misspelling of that name in the paper.

Helen: “Oh, I did that. That’s part of my job – to put the mistakes in the paper.”

Caller, now dumbfounded: Why would you do that?

Helen: “Because I know how much fun you have looking for the mistakes!”

Caller: How did you know?

It may be the most disarming approach I ever encountered in terms of dealing with mistakes in the newspaper.

I know there are those of you proofreading the newspaper after it’s in print. It’s OK. There are way more of you than you think. You could probably start a club. Helen might suggest a support group, bless your hearts.

Errors are going to happen in the newspaper. It’s just the way it is. I am here to tell you that if I type or write something, a wayward keystroke is likely.

In one of my previous locations, a chamber director remarked on a pair of typos in the weekly paper. I told her, “Well, when you put thousands of keystrokes in the paper every week, there’s bound to be a couple that sneak through. She quizzed me about the keystrokes reference. I told her that I thought there were probably more than 100,000 keystrokes in the paper that week. She sort of scoffed at the notion. So, I went back and counted the keystrokes (using the computer stroke counter of course). There were more than 350,000 keystrokes that week. She found two typos. So I asked her how she felt about us going 349,998 of 350,000. She hadn’t considered it in that way.

I don’t like typos, but I am more concerned with accuracy. In terms of facts, we will aim to get it right. In terms of newspaper word usage and grammar, we will endeavor to do well. 

In terms of making mistakes, two things come to mind. My dad once told me, “The only person who never made a mistake never did anything.” The other is the old adage that your mistakes are the only thing others will let you call your own.

Brad Hicks is publisher and editor of the Red Oak Express. FYI: There were 3,174 keystrokes in this column.