Technology tests tenacity

With frequently new intimidating electronic something or others promising to simplify our lives, you’d think by now we’d effortlessly live carefree lives. Factor in palm-sized gadgets providing instant access to anything we’d ever need to know, and you have to wonder how humans will ever cultivate patience.

Patience is that characteristic exhibited by the mature. The rest of us want it, but we want it “right now”.

Technology, I’ve discovered, still finds ways to challenge people like me to mature. One method comes by encountering a computer generated voice (CGV). A CGV has no ears, so emphatically requesting a “live person,” not only discloses our immaturity, it also fails to hurry up any process.

I’ll confess I “initialized” computer generated voices to CGV. It seemed “logical,” but a quick internet search claims most others think CGV refers to some chain of cinemas in South Korea. Just between us, this week, let’s go with my CGV option.

I may be ahead in initializing, but I’m obviously not a trend setter when it comes to technology. There are several reasons why. I could say it’s because of the ecological impact discarded electronics will have. That would be good, even noble, but it’s not the primary reason I’m not walking around studying my palm or putting you “on hold” during a conversation.

Technologically, I’m ahead of those refusing to use computers, but I’m behind those who visualize something besides food when they say pods and berries. 

I took years to agree to have a cell phone. I’d heard about bills and about its possible interference with brain functions. I don’t need anything to interfere with brain functions.

Eventually, we bargain hunted for cell phones for emergency use. We most recently chose a cell phone which had 300 minutes on the three-month problem. Not three-month plan, three months of problems.

Problems included remembering where we put the phone, its number, overcoming fear of not knowing how to answer it if it did ring, and the mysterious retrieving of messages. If we conquered those, two bigger problems loomed: keeping the phone charged, and, renewing minutes before it died.

Finding the phone totally dead, we tried reviving it by using the trusty landline. The company said we needed to buy a new phone, which they sent, complete with, alas, minutes and an in-car charger gadget. Why, problems were solved. Life was good.

Time flew by. Oops, we’d not added minutes before it shut down.

I figured I’d simply add minutes online, but phone hadn’t been shipped with a pin number, and my suggestions were rejected. Okay, I’d simply use our landline to call the cell phone’s 24-hour service. Either they’d add minutes or help “pin” things down.    

Then I met Ms. Cheery-O, the company’s CGV. She’s designed to instill old-fashioned patience by urging me to stay on the line because my call’s important, lines are busy, and I’ll get the next operator after listening to her computer generated orchestra (CGO). She droned on and on and her music wasn’t all that relaxing.

It did, however, conjure up Ben Franklin’s stubbornly patient example of keeping at a task until it was accomplished. Why, quitting could make previous efforts a waste of time. After all, I was next. 

Utilizing every ounce of patience, I endured her unending spiel and her music. I visualized cleaning crews arriving, vacuuming, locking doors and going home while I prepared a one-handed supper with a phone adhering itself to my ear.

Here’s my conclusion: CGVs may build patience by telling you you’re next, but my Ms. Cheery-O lied.